Looking back is an interesting thing.
We’re going to crack open our Bibles here. Go find it.
Wipe off the dust. Can’t find
it? Goodness, download this app
for apple or
for android and then
you will never lose it again, and you’ll be free of allergies because the
chances of your phone getting as dusty as that book over there are pretty
slim. open, or click, to
Genesis 19.
AH, the story of Lot.
What’s going down here? Lot is
living in Sodom, it’s a pretty wicked place.
(No, not wicked in the “that’s so awesome” sense of the word. Wicked as in evil.) Wicked to the point The Lord says, “If I find
in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare all the place for
their sakes.” If he could find fifty
people the city would be spared, but fifty righteous people were not to be
found. He says, forty-five. No. Forty.
No. Twenty-five. No.
Twenty. No. There were not even twenty people in the
whole city who were righteous in the Lord’s eyes. Because of the wickedness of the citizens Lot
receives this advice:
“Escape for they life… look not behind thee…”
Okay, the Lord is telling them to get out of the city or
they’re going to be a part of a nice barbeque.
Lot and his family do not want to be rotisserie-d so they start
leaving. The Lord specifically says not
to look back (key phrase here people, do not look back), but Lot’s wife must
have been feeling hungry, and she looked back.
Um. Why didn't she
listen to Him and keep her head straight towards her end goal: safety?
Why didn't she keep walking forward?
She looked back and
was turned into a pillar of salt. She
looked back. She wanted to go back. She wished her family had not of left all of her gold, jewels, and precious things.
Moving onward to a land she does not know, to a place where she is’t comfortable
is scary. Lot’s wife was scared. What would happen to her when she didn't have
all her girlfriends around to sip herbal tea, discuss the latest Kardashian scandal, and cry over chick flicks with?
How would she make do without her favorite little restaurant? She did not want to move away from these
things, even though the Lord told her it was time.
That is the key to this infamous Bible story. Like all Biblical stories there is a lesson
to be learned and we need to implement it into our lives. We cannot look back at the past and long for
it. I do that. I will stand on top of a mountain and yell it
to the world I am Lot’s wife occasionally.
It is simple for me to look back and WISH I hadn't of done this, WISH I
could remember this, and a million other WISHES.
I wish I hadn't have left my house December 13, 2013. I wish I would have stayed at the chapel that
night. It stretched as far as the point
of wishing I had never served a mission. All of these thoughts came in the
darkest moments of the recovery of my accident.
How did these thoughts change the situation I was in? They
don't. Wishing I hadn't of been a
victim of a hit-and-run did not change the fact that it had already happened.
No amount of wishing would bring my memory back. No amount of wishing will make anyone feel
better, in fact, it makes one feel worse.
Wishing is another form of regret. When we wish we would have, could have, or we
should have, we are Lot’s wife. We are longingly looking back to a time we
cannot change. The only thing we can
change is the present. By our actions
here in the present, we are then able to control our future. We are able to have a future free of the
could/would/should haves. I am moving on
with my life. I still have a life, I am
still alive, and God is letting me do whatever I want to do with my life. I am free.
Here, I am not known as the “Miraculous of Tahiti” and surrounded by
people asking for my autograph. Here I
can move on.
I am at a point in my post-accident life where I can sit
back and: “Remember Lot’s wife.” She
longingly looked back to her old life and did not look forward to the better
life God had prepared for her. Looking back and wishing for the past to change
is easy. Looking forward and seeing a
better future God has prepared because of the past is hard. This is hands down one of the hardest things
someone can do. It takes a lot of
faith. That is what Lot’s wife lacked,
faith. She could not see God; she could
not see where He was going to take her and her faith vanished. She looked
back. I am done looking back. That was yesterday.
Today I choose to have faith.
XXo,
Mo