Monday, February 11, 2013

Life Lessons

I've discovered that every single day there's a fantastic life lesson hiding in the corner you can learn from. I've decided to share with the entire internet world what life lesson I learned today
*story begins*

It was a crisp, snot freezing, finger numbing morning. At exactly 7:45 the suckish alarm rang. *snooze* 10 minutes later it rang again *snoozed* 10 minutes later it rang again *snooze* 

The frazzled, frizzy, frustrated girl furiously flopped on the * insert adjective that starts with f here* floor.  As she passed through the doorway she noted she was barely awake and considered doing a Pinterest wake-up work out. "Why would I do such a silly thing" *insert 15 minute shower/teeth cleaning/make up/hair brushing session here*

There was a moment where the girl almost fell asleep on the stairs, but she persevered out to the frigid, frosty, frozen land outside. Her car was covered in snow and ice.

*Grumble* *Grumble*

Out came the handy-dandy mitten/car scraper. Yes. It is a scraper built into an ultra fuzzy, fluffy, furry mitten. The car got adequately scraped and she headed to The Place. 

After the girl got lost. Repeatedly. 

She arrived. 

Dearest readers. the remainder of this post may contain graphic description which may cause night terrors, loss of hair, or aversion to small animals.  It is not indented for small children or adults or the elderly. 

The girl sat, waiting, in The Room. 

Lined up in a row on the table to her left were The Devices. All 4.5 of them. Ready to ferociously, furrow into her skin. 

Yes dear reader, she was receiving her shots. *sigh* It was traumatizing. But, she stayed strong. 4.5 little disease preventing lovelies were standing in her way of fantastic, flovely, fbeautiful, Tahiti.  

Into her skin they were burrowed. Evil disease injected into her muscle. And shiny band-aids applied to suppress the fountainous, flowing blood. 
The suppression of tears allowed her to choose a flavorful, fantastic sucker. 

The End.

Moral of the story (aka the life lesson):  When bad things happen to good people, suckers make everything better. 

XXo, Mo

p.s. I'm not really afraid of needles, or blood, I just enjoy being over dramatic at moments. 

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