Tuesday, April 17, 2012

On Graduation

Once upon a time there was a little girl who was EXTREMELY excited to graduate from high school.  She was so excited in fact, she started counting down the days from 846.  Now, because every good story needs an acceptable plot, there was a reason she wanted to leave high school.  She was lonely.  *sad face*  Her very best friend in the whole entire world had moved to the dreaded land of... *shudder* Idaho.  The poor little girl was having the hardest time finding friends in a school where cliques had been together since the days of nap time and chocolate milk. That is why she wanted to leave high school.  Then, one day, she found new friends!  But, alas for the conflict of this story, there were only five months before graduation.  Graduation was coming way too fast.

If you haven't figured it out I am the little girl.  *taa daa*  Life seems almost cruel right now to give me an incredible support system when there are only 44 days until graduation, and 125 until I move to Ephraim.  It's heartbreaking.  Really.  My heart is literally breaking.  Each day a new chunk of my heart dissolves into my bloodstream.  On May 31 I will have a sliver of that beautiful thing.  In 125 days I will be heartless.  *sigh*

College lately has been incredibly frustrating for me.  It seems like all my friends are getting everything they wanted, plus more, while I, on the other hand, am barely scraping by.  I didn't get into my first choice of college.  That day was devastating.  (a large chunk of heart dissolved that day)  Not getting in means I would be leaving most of my friends behind on my incredible journey of wisdom.  Sometimes, okay a lot of the time, when they talk about how much fun they are going to have at this certain school it hurts.  A lot actually.  I know I shouldn't let it affect me the way it does, but I have very little control of my emotions.

So, for now, I will continue to second guess my decision until April 23.  That day will be very, very interesting. Hopefully I have made the right decision and (even if it's not what I want, or where I want) I pray my friends choose the place that is best for them.  I may be a little selfish when it comes to this, but I always want the right thing to happen.

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